Behind the confidence Taylor Swift displayed on stage during herReputation Stadium Tourlast year was a lot of anxiety about keeping her fans safe.
In a candid self-written list forElle‘s April cover story, the 29-year-old star reveals 30 things she has learned ahead of her 30th birthday on Dec. 13 — including that her “biggest fear” in wake of theMay 2017 bombingatAriana Grande’s Manchester Arena concert and themass shootingat Las Vegas’Route 91 Harvest music festivalless than five months later was that one of her concerts would be attacked.
“After the Manchester Arena bombing and the Vegas concert shooting, I was completely terrified to go on tour this time because I didn’t know how we were going to keep 3 million fans safe over seven months,” Swift writes. “There was a tremendous amount of planning, expense, and effort put into keeping my fans safe.”
Ben Hassett
The lives of 22 people, many of which were young fans, were taken in the Manchester Arena bombing and 58 people died in the Las Vegas shooting. While Swift shares that her “fear of violence” has spread into her personal life, she doesn’t let it control her.
“I carry QuikClot army grade bandage dressing, which is for gunshot or stab wounds,” she writes. “Websites and tabloids have taken it upon themselves to post every home address I’ve ever had online. You get enough stalkers trying to break into your house and you kind of start prepping for bad things.”
Taylor Swift.Ben Hassett
Despite her fears, Swift went on to have an extremely successful tour. Before wrapping in November, theReputation Stadium Tourbecame the highest-grossing U.S. tour in history.
“The fans and their care for me, my well-being, and my music were the ones who pulled me through,” Swift writes. “The most emotional part of theReputation Stadium Tourfor me was knowing I was looking out at the faces of the people who helped me get back up. I’ll never forget the ones who stuck around.”
Taylor SwiftcoversElle.Ben Hassett
Elsewhere in the list, Swift writes that she’s learned “it’s okay to say that you don’t know what to say” when tragedy strikes in someone’s life.
“Sometimes just saying you’re so sorry is all someone wants to hear,” she writes. “It’s okay to not have any helpful advice to give them; you don’t have all the answers. However, it’s not okay to disappear from their life in their darkest hour. Your support is all someone needs when they’re at their lowest point. Even if you can’t really help the situation, it’s nice for them to know that you would if you could.”
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Over the past few years, Swift has kept her private life — as well as her friendships andrelationship with actor Joe Alwyn, 28 — under wraps. She recounted her up-and-down journey through fame on her 2017 albumReputationand then on her tour, but she has largely remained out of the public eye ahead of herElle U.K.and AmericanEllecover stories.
source: people.com
