Hey , today ’s the iPod ’s 5th natal day , born October 23 , 2001 . We ’d babble Happy Birthday , but right of first publication legal philosophy foreclose us from doing so unless we pay the possessor of that song . So instead of crooning that timeworn ditty , we ’re run to circularise the haterage about the iPod .
The iPod get under one’s skin so much fond and worshipful closet — we ink - sully ( pixel - stained ? ) wretches are fawning over it 24/7 — so we calculate it was eminent time somebody take it down a mountain pass or two . As my Gizmodo colleagues hide in the closet , they ’ve shoved me out into the limelight to take the heat , offering my Top 10 Reasons Why I Hate You , iPod . So get your flamethrower quick . Here move :
There ’s no FM : we have some heavy FM station around these part , one jazz place in fussy that I mind to all the clip in the cable car . I ca n’t do that with the iPod . How much more would it be to put FM in that thing , mayhap two one dollar bill ? Get over it , put the damn receiving system and there and be done with it .
More haterage , after the jump .
scratch : Yes , the new aluminium iPod nano is allegedly scratch - repellent , but it ’s retro , looking kinda like the old mini . We do n’t like go backwards . Our first - gen iPod nano looked like a skating rink on twenty-four hour period two , and we were cocker it in microfiber most of the prison term . What , does it have a wax coating ? What honorable is a beautiful design that gets all scratched up if you touch it ? Meh .
Battery life history : We still have n’t forgotten about the first - generation iPod whose battery wear thin out quicker than a prematurely - ejaculating teen . Plus , it was near on impossible to interchange there for a while . Now , the batteries still wo n’t last long enough , even in the newest models . There are cheap Taiwan knockoff that last twice as long . Fix that .
DRM : Digital right direction is damn , no matter how you slice it . Sure , Apple ’s DRM , called FairPlay , gives you a piffling more margin , but we ’d rather not have anyone telling us what we can do with medicine we ’ve purchase . Makes us want to steal it .
iTunes is janky : iTunes is uncanny , and although we have no trouble using it , we ’re obtain timeworn of teaching our grandparents all of its intricacy . We think this was Apple , where everyone could use it and it would be well-fixed . iTunes is not easy enough , and does n’t follow Windows conventions tight enough .
No Bluetooth : How hard can it be to put Bluetooth in the iPod ? Then we could get disembarrass of all those telegram with their auto - maze feature , apparently wrapping around themselves while you ’re not looking , need an untangle academic session a few times a twenty-four hour period . Bring on the Bluetooth .
Thief magnet : This is not really the iPod ’s demerit , but the damn things are so popular , if you ’re fag white earpiece , you might as well have just paint a liberal target on your back . At least discharge some official black Apple iPod earbuds , or various colors … ? Maybe that ’ll throw the muggers off for a little while .
My kid want a new one every six months : Steve Jobs himself talked about how iPod must often be replace . Sure , any consumer electronics twist that ’s cut edge will be obsolete quickly , but at least you’re able to make them less sympathetic to my child , whose nag me for a new one on a veritable groundwork .
No widescreen : You ’re making the error of the Microsoft Zune , sticking with that erstwhile - fashioned 4×3 face ratio . We want wide screen ; that ’s the way of the future tense . While you ’re at it , give us better than 640×480 video on iTunes .
No WiFi : speaking of Zune , you could ’ve put WiFi on the iPod a long time ago , and not crippled it seven way to Sunday , too , as Microsoft is about to do . Another missed chance .
Oh well , well-chosen birthday anyway , iPod .
iPod
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