Sorry to use a image from The Big Bang Theory — especially since I do n’t sleep together if this comic book depot - melt down character is really awful or not — but since he appear to be asterisk at his customer ’s breasts , it seemed a decent bet that it would be appropriately representative for our first varsity letter . Now on with the mail !
XX - gene
Lori D. :
Hello !
I ’ve been a lover of the X - Men since the early 90s , when I watched the ( awesome 90stastic ) cartoon . I ’ve enjoyed ( most of ) the lively action films , especially the most late , hug drug - Men : DoFP . I ’ve never been capable to keep up with the comics , but I ’d care to read about the important story lines , fictional character origins , ex - Men history , etc . The problem is that there ’s a short ton out there and I have n’t a clew where to start . Do you have any recommendation ? Perhaps there are some compose anthology - case materials ?
I ’ve asked at a comic book computer memory once and the guy just stray his eyes at me and said they were n’t girly comics , so I should n’t inconvenience oneself …
Well , screw him . I want to get into this , but I just do n’t know the proficient starting points .
Please help !
Okay . I really want to aid . But first there ’s something I ’ve got ta do .
Dear Mr. Comic Store Employee Who Told Lori To Stick To Girly Comics , and Every Comic Store Employee Who Has Ever Done or say Something Similar : Eat crap .
in earnest , go to the lavatory , take a dump , do n’t flush , go seize a spoon and fork , and just eat that son of a bitch up . The fact that it ’s 2014 and you have the blinking insolence to assume a woman who enter your laughable store does not want or somehow can not handle a superhero amusing is both insane and fucking horrible .
Is this the most awing act of misogyny in the reality ? Unfortunately , as recent consequence have shown , it evidently is n’t . But it ’s so uncalled-for , so small-minded , so clearly , transparently incorrect now that it repulse me mad that this is still hap , or that it ever happened . And I do n’t mean just morally wrong , I mean factually wrong . Unless this moron has somehow neglect all the women who have entered his store , and never been to a con , and never been on-line , there is rich proof that adult female like all the same nerdy stuff men like . ALL OF IT .
And I get surplus offended any fourth dimension a nerd pull this shit . I commend being a nerd in the ’ 80 and ’ 90 , being banish by my peer , and the fact that any nerd would willingly choose to do the same thing to anyone , let alone another nerd or likely wonk , scandalize me . We should be intimate better . We do know better . 2nd of all , I remember a severe dearth of nerdy girls growing up , and I would have done horrible , horrible things to hold out in the gender - even swot rebirth we live in now .
He is a Neanderthal . A nerdy Neanderthal . A NERDANDERTHAL . Fuck him .
Oh , right . The salutary X - Men comics . Okay , trying to somehow catch up and get the full summary of the X - Men ’s long story is jolly much impossible , because it ’s like a soap opera house — crazy things happen pretty much constantly , and that ’s not even getting into all the tailspin - offs , and it ’s been 50 years of this madness . So the adept thing to do is just accept that the X - Men have an ever - changing roster of relationships , and read the skilful X - Men stories you’re able to .
I ’ll tell you first to start with Joss Whedon ’s Astonishing X - Men . Not just because it ’s Joss Whedon , and thus a mass of merriment — although it is — but because it tells its own tolerate - alone tarradiddle very well . If you ’re a big rooter of the ’ 90 cartoon , wait for the Jim Lee / Chris Claremont stories — they do n’t have any specific names , but you may find collections of them easy enough .
You really ca n’t go wrong with any of the heavy ’ 80 X - Men write up from Chris Claremont — The Dark Phoenix Saga , The Hellfire Club , Days of Future Past , and God make out , Man Kills — there ’s a reason Claremont is debate the in force . Going back to begin with , rather than read the original Stan Lee / Jack Kirby comic , I ’d suggest trying the ten - Men : First Class or tenner - Men : Season One comics , because they ’re usually more accessible for modern proofreader . But if you desire to go back to the source , I surely wo n’t discontinue you .
And last but for certain not least , I enjoyed the hell on earth out of Jason Aaron ’s recentWolverine and the XTC - manpower . It ’s a unearthly line - up , Wolverine is somehow in charge of a schoolhouse , there are a long ton of new unseasoned mutant students — but it ’s a blast to register .
Green With invidia
Andre M. :
Dear Postman ,
Let ’s assume that there ’s a parallel universe out there , one where DC / Warner adjudicate it was metre to put up a cinematic universe of their characters .
It ’s 2008 , the year Green Lantern , their select bet to start this endeavour , opens at the box office .
What would this movie be like and how it would set a Justice League movie in 2011 ?
Well , it would n’t . I ’m drear to play a party pooper , but WB / DC would never , ever have start a Justice League cycle without Batman and Superman first , and besides , Green Lantern actually add up out in 2011 , in - between The Dark Knight and The Dark Knight Rises , and Chris Nolan ’s serious / grim / naturalistic / gritty Batman was off - limits from other superheroes . And before that , I ’m trusted Superman Returns was potentially go to be a beginning to a DC Cinematic Universe , but then Bryan Singer made it a half-baked love letter to the first two ’ seventy Superman movies and it fail .
Basically , you ca n’t build a cinematic universe with bombs , and the only successful DC picture of the ’ 00s — Batman Begins — was more or less establish on being a world without all the other superheroes in it . WB / DC has been fucked from the very beginning . Even if 2011 ’s Green Lantern had become a hit , that would n’t intend Batman was n’t still off terminus ad quem . peradventure in Green Lantern 2 , they ’d introduce The Flash or some other second - tier DC heroes , but they ’d still have to hold back for Nolan ’s Bat - trilogy to be over and for Superman to reboot before they could make Justice League .
What I ’m state is even if Green Lantern had been a success , the young Batman and Man of Steel and Justice League movies would still get along out at the exact same times they are now . possibly there ’d have been a Green Lantern 2 by now , and maybe a Flash spin - off this year or next . But the Justice would n’t Dawn until 2015 no matter what .
Yolo Joe
Dan L. :
Dear Post - Apocalyptic Postman , I do n’t know how else to say this , so I ’m just going to say it : Why did n’t Michael Bay work on a toy - colligate movie franchise more suitable to his propensity ( idolisation of the U.S. military ) like G.I. Joe , and would fill his lust for explosions ? Did he just think Transformers was more of a “ blank state ” to work from , or what ? I ca n’t really remember of an response , and I was hoping you could .
transformer was the crown jewel in Hasbro ’s chemical group of intellectual properties . A toyline that could not only easily be render into a summertime blockbuster , but a toyline that had literally been on miniature shelves since its 1982 debut ; G.I. Joe has been around a lot longer , sure enough , but it ’s also come and gone several times over the eld . Transformers was # 1 , It also likely helped that Transformers was more scifi action than military action , and thus reasonably more suited for a summertime blockbuster .
So transformer was the property that Hasbro make for to Hollywood first , and of trend nothing is certain in Hollywood . There ’s no telling if a G.I. Joe would ever be made , and the best bet to make it happen would be to make Transformers the self-aggrandizing smash hit possible anyways . So if you get Michael Bay interested in Transformers — who , despite being an awful filmmaker , routinely make pic that take in jillion of dollars — you say “ You ’re hired . ” You do n’t say , “ Enh , we have a project you might enjoy more later , even though there ’s no telling if you ’ll be fussy working on something else . ” You go for the chance in front of you , because there ’s no telling what happen next .
Now , you ’d mean Bay would jump at the probability to jump off Transformers and direct G.I. Joe , correct ? Wrong . Michael Bay does n’t have any affection for G.I. Joe . He also does n’t have any affection for Transformers , or any of the source material for his movies . Sure , G.I. Joe is good beseem to Bay ’s sexual love of the military , witless detonation , and raging girls in skin - tight pants , but Bay does n’t handle because he ’ll just cram what he wants to in reality shoot into the Transformers picture show . He wins because he shoots what he wants to burgeon forth , Hasbro wins because the film makes a zillion dollars , and Transformers buff miss because this will not change until Bay decide he no longer wants to make zillions of dollars . reckon , if somehow someone had offer him the ThunderCats movie and he drive it , you do it it would somehow include the armed forces , reasonless explosion , and hot girls in skin - nasty pants , veracious ?
The Yawn of Justice
Alliterator :
My interrogation is really about the newly title “ Batman v Superman : Dawn of Justice . ” To me , the title sound like a stinking videogame and I cringe every time I read it in my mind . But why ? Marvel love using subtitles , too , but for some ground , all of their movie subtitle sound nerveless . “ The Dark World , ” “ The Winter Soldier , ” even “ The Age of Ultron . ” They sound like comic books , trusted ( because , well , two of them were named from the comics ) , but even with that comic Koran feel , they just go … coolheaded .
“ Batman v. Superman : Dawn of Justice ” sounds clunky , like they could n’t think of a title and just decide to slap some subtitle on the name they were already thinking about . Do you agree ? Or might there be a unlike intellect why this deed just does n’t work , while Marvel ’s do ? Thank you for your servicing !
Good motion ! And there is an answer . First of all , the “ 5 ” does n’t aid . near no one uses “ V ” to mean “ versus ” any longer except in cause ; and no pic titles have ever used “ quintet ” rather of “ vs. ” — including legal movies like Roe Vs . Wade . The “ volt ” is n’t technically incorrect , it ’s just totally unusual , and thus sounds extremely fucking weird every sentence it ’s read or said . So that does n’t help .
As for the caption : The Marvel movie caption are about something , they intend something , even if multitude do n’t always fuck what that is .. “ The First Avenger ” is clearly a specific entity and that attract you in , because you ’re funny what an retaliator is . ( It also helps that the Marvel movies had already lay some groundwork by mentioning “ The Avenger Initiative ” a few times).”The Winter Soldier ” is clear a Captain America foeman , so multitude know hey , Cap ’s going to be fighting a dude nominate The Winter Soldier . What ’s his taradiddle ? “ The Age of Ultron ” : Who or what is Ultron , and is he going to be so powerful that it ’s really going to be his age ? ” These titles literally say something about their film .
counterpoint to these , “ Dawn of Justice ” is meaningless . “ Dawn ” is a very nebular word that ’s overuse in movies already , and “ Justice Department ” is an idea more than a thing . Most of all , the “ Dawn of Justice ” is mute , because Justice has existed before this stupid movie , and even in terms of the DC Cinematic Universe , Superman was already getting justice in Man of Steel , and the whole matter is just … gimcrackery .
“ But it clearly refers to the Justice League ! ” you say . That ’s genuine ; it come to to it . But it does n’t say it , and what it state is obtuse and generic . Imagine this claim :
“ Batman Vs . Superman : Dawn of the Justice League . ” A small wordy , but infinitely ripe , correct ? Because it ’s really telling us something , and it ’s something we ’re actually interested in . It imply something . Somebody at WB / DC should write me goddamned check .
arm Ecks
BB :
Hi Mr. Postman ,
I know you are a delivery boy , and not a lawyer . And I also assume Lawyers when you add up from likely use sniper rifles rather than courtrooms for polite matters . But you seem to be on your game about the whole Marvel trademark plenty .
I read on io9 today about Hugh Jackman wanting Wolverine to be part of the Avengers movies and how this will not happen . Got me retrieve , can Marvel make a character that every single person knows is fundamentally glutton , but they call him like animate being serviceman and give him 4 finger claws and whatever and be from space instead of being a sport ?
If DC and Marvel can just copy each other with characters like Green Arrow and Hawkeye or ( fill in the blank on just about every character ) could a company do it to itself ? If you do n’t reply I ’ll check with the FTD guy I know from another attribute .
They could , but to what welfare ? Let ’s call this young four - clawed - space - man Ferret . He ’s really good at what he does , and what he does is socially frowned upon . Who cares ? Comic fan does n’t want a knock - off Wolverine , and the general 10 - Men movie - have sex masses do n’t want a criticise - off Wolverine . And if the Ferret had to act with a legally good amount of variability from Wolverine , what could he possibly total to Avengers ? expert to just leave it be and hope Fox Studios gets hit by a meteor .
Mysterio ’s style
Matt K. :
Dear Postman , I go for this letter finds you live and well .
I know there is guess that Mysterio will be a villain in the next Spider - Man motion picture , but I doubt that , and here is why . Quentin Beck , the world who becomes Mysterio , is a skilled peculiar effects artist who ferment on motion-picture show , so I could well see him in the New twenty-four hours as somebody whose work is become less and less relevant , as CGI overtakes the practical effects that Beck was known for in his prime quantity . Bitter about being phased out , he turns to a life of crime , using his skills not only for retaliation but also to prove that he can still make people believe in something that is n’t real . The biggest irony is that , would n’t the target of his furore be , of course , the very Hollywood studios that make movies like The Amazing Spider - Man ? This sorting of makes him the utter Spider - man movie villain but , also the one least potential to feature . What do you call up ?
Actually , when Mysterio was introduced in 1964 , he became a topnotch - villain because he thought the special effects industry was being phased out . He did n’t have CG to worry about , but it ’s the precise same deal otherwise . He just decide to use his SFX endowment to become a super - villain , with his first job personate Spider - Man fleece a bank , thus framing him .
So while you could decide to have Mysterio engage a war against Hollywood studio , you could also have him develop SFX with which he knows he can emulate Spider - Man , head to New York City , and rive the bank heist , presuming he ’ll never be caught . Spidey discover and catches him , and an archenemy is made . This makes far more signified than , say , Peter Parker reject to give his dying friend Spider - Man ’s blood line because of a completely theoretical side issue that , again , perhaps his friend ’s gargantuan goddamned construction full of scientist could mayhap identify and counter - act . Just one humanity ’s judgment .
Do you have questions about anything scifi , phantasy , superhero , or nerd - concern ? Email the[email protected ] ! No interrogative too hard , no motion too dumb ! evidently !
Postal Apocalypse
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